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Dacorian

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After a long reflection I still have no idea what I am. People often ask me ' are you religious?' when I can give no explanation because I don't like to use the word ' Dragon with people, a name that is known and a name that doesn't need an explanation. I feel alot for the Scandinavian/Celtic faith but that is not precisely for one hundred percent. The Oriental faith also is equivalence but also it's not entirely correct. I would like to have a name, a group to which I may belong because in the end, the word ' dragonkin' also isn't quite my thing. The Dragon is my companion, my follower and myself, Humans are my antithesis, my uncertain ally and myself and that is a bit bizarre to follow.

I see an animal as equivalent to a human, I eat much meat but I would eat the flesh of a man if needed. I am grateful to humans, in addition, they have saved my life in my first year of the Dragon (1988- 1989) but there are too many, they are annoying and vortices me my freedom to live, survive and die in a dignified way. Or another way to explain, humanity is my father, the Dragon is my spiritual mother and partner. What makes this faith so weird is that there is no morality attached on this, in fact I am free to do what I want to the most extreme things because good and evil does not exist for my Lord but there is for my father who has saved my life as a human being with heavy penalties and morals If I don't listen to them. My Lord is not there in flech so my father (humans) has the power over me, in other words, chains around my wrist and legs. This lets me languishing in a corner but accept to do what they want. A kind of ' wait until the death follows in hell, where the death just will bring me as a part of nature just like the dragon. My mouth can't speak about the Dragon only my fingers that can write about it. I fall stil if I wanted to explain this to others because my Dragon actually don't want such a communication, but I'm still a man, and that clashes with each other so darn often. My mother and partner agree with each other that others are not important to someone like me, just live for yourself. I don't like to say this in public but I still show an incredible hatred towards beings (not only people) because I'm not always sure if this second chance is something that I wish to have. life with so many hidden hatred is not fun, it's exhausting and painful and no dead dragon or living human will save me from that.

 

I'm looking for a name for this unusual belief but unfortunately the dictionary isn't large enough to give names to something like this. I think that this is seen more as a psychological belief but that is certainly not the case I'm sure. I have seen and felt too much evidence to ignore this longer.

 

Dacorian.

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It's difficult, Dacorian, having to deal with finding a name for something that pretty much is a unique belief system. I know this well, because I've tried for three years now to find such a label to apply to myself.

 

Being that I have close ties with the ancient Sumerians, I have considered Sumerianism, but even without having looked into the belief system I already feel my heart rejecting it, it's a human belief system and I am not human, so I find a human belief system to automatically fall short of any needs I might have. Probably if a label were to be applied it would not be something of a spiritual or religious nature as defined in this world... more likely a secular label, and even more likely than that, some label I'd have to make up. Maybe in my case a psychological term would be an idea, as my whole soul identity does sound crazy even to me a lot of the time. :P

 

In any case, hon, what I'm trying to say is that you may have to open yourself to terms that are not spiritual or religious in nature, and you might have to go without a label or make one up for yourself.

 

Also, on a side note: A label can actually do you more harm than good. In your post you imply that you hate humanity... I'm similar in that I don't hate the species but I do hate some of the things they do, and their tendency to label other people is one of them. A label has a major disadvantage in that it means one thing to one person, and another thing to someone else. So any label you come up with will not, by the very nature of the human race you live among, be as accurate as you seem to hope it will be.

 

I hope this helps. Be well.

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